A Little Bit of Inspiration

This past Sunday we had a lesson at church about our trials and struggles and the lessons we can learn from them. This caused me to think about Adam and his OCD. It's been a year now since we really started dealing with this. A year ago he was starting to wash his hands 50+ times a day, thought everything that was outside the house or left the house was contaminated, and couldn't touch particular things. When we got the diagnosis of OCD and learned it would be something he would have his entire life, it was quite overwhelming. It has taken months of treatment and medication to get a grip on it. At the moment he is doing well. However, it can change daily and so we have to be vigilant about doing his coping exercises. At the beginning of the year, when things were really bad, I decided to keep a journal or record of the blessings that have come from OCD. Initially this was quite hard because it seemed like it only brought grief and heartache. And really, what good could come from OCD? A few weeks ago, during Stake Conference, I had a bit of inspiration. I have regularly thought about why Adam has OCD--not why does he have this as a complaint, but why does he have this as a wonder, what is the purpose behind him being given this trial. During the meeting, the thought came to mind that Adam is learning at a very young age how to truly decide between two things--good vs. bad. The OCD is like a voice in is head trying to convince him to choose the OCD side. The voice tries to convince him that the OCD side has to be chosen or else something terrible will happen. If he obeys the OCD then he'll feel better--for awhile, until he does the ritual again. He is learning how to examine his thoughts and look for the truth in them--what's his real thoughts and what are the OCD thoughts. By the time he's a teenage he'll have had lots of practice. I'm hoping this will help him then to be able to look at what other kids say and the peer pressue and be able to determine what is really the right thing to do and not just the path that others tell him to follow. I'm not sure if this makes much sense. I find it hard to accurate describe what OCD is like to those that have not either lived with it themselves or had someone close to them with it. Sometimes I think it is similar to an addiction--not that the person is addicted to the behavior but the feeling that something has to be done in order to live or survive.